The Beast from the East was angry,
And he was sharpening his claws.
He gnashed his frightful fangs together
And practiced his fearsome roars.
The Pest from the West had annoyed him.
And for that – he would have to pay!
He had made his mind up:
He would unleash his power today.
It started with the temperature.
His fury froze the very air.
People shuddered and shivered.
The Eastern Beast did not care.
He shrieked and yelled ferociously,
Until the sky turned completely white.
But, he was saving his best tricks
For when daytime turned to night.
People slept; cosy in dreamy slumber.
Oblivious, they did not know
That the rattled, fuming Beast
Had sent the most chaotic snow.
It arrived in startling clumps.
Gigantic flakes abound.
They whizzed down from the sky
And settled on the ground.
“Now, let’s see
Who is puny and small!”
The Beast from the East laughed
As the snow continued to fall.
“Ha! Is that all you’ve got?”
Sniggered the Pest from the West.
“A cute winter wonderland?
Is this seriously your best?”
The Beast emerged from his cave
And let out a terrifying howl.
He stood up on his haunches
And began to madly prowl.
His rage increased his strength
And he blew with all his might.
His icy windy breath
Caused a blustery fright.
The storm had begun.
It burst into full-swing.
But, the Angel of the North
Started to sweetly sing.
“Beast from the East,
How silly you are;
Spreading this terrible weather
So wide and far!”
“Pest from the West,
Now bite your tongue.
We must teach this Beast
To know right from wrong.”
“Oi! Leave it out!”
There came a groan.
It was the Mouth from the South,
Having another moan.
The Angel rolled her eyes.
He had so much to say!
He was full of self-importance!
And held far too much sway!
But, he didn’t speak for all,
Merely a select few.
Suddenly, the Angel
Knew just what to do!
She thought about the people,
Who would be shivering in bed.
Tomorrow, they would panic!
They’d buy all the milk and bread!
They couldn’t drive their cars,
And life would fall apart.
Humans of the United Kingdom
Couldn’t cope with a snowy morning start!
She put her big coat on,
Rolled up the sleeves somewhat.
She would show these boys
The things that they’d forgot.
The Beast remained so angry
And wanted to put on a show.
“There’ll be no attention-seeking here, Pet.
You can forget your snow.”
The Pest from the West was left wanting
Because he had no real fame.
Well, it was up to the Angel
To end this ludicrous game.
The Mouth from the South was tiresome,
Only serving to stir the pot.
He didn’t know the people.
Care? Oh, he did not.
So, the Angel closed her eyes
Visualising grass that was green,
Melting the irksome snow,
As though the storm had never been.
Scolding all: Beast, Pest, and Mouth;
In only a way that an angel can.
She grounded them for a month
And, quite rightly, set a ban.
“No more engineering weather!
It should be bloody Spring!
Send out the daffodils.”
The Angel did sing.
“And the crocus and the colour
And a rare sunshine smile.
These people have had enough
Of this weather that is vile.”
“Let them eat chocolate bloody eggs,
And book a holiday.
For once: Beast, Pest, and Mouth
Had nothing at all to say!
They retreated into hiding.
But, Angel was proudly on display.
A beacon of hope and beauty,
Always having the final say.
